Cyn Said...

Vodka and Rose Petals

Three years since you left me gasping,
since the thieves of light chased me away,
denying the gift of you ever existed.
Life now thrift store bargains for strangers. 


Three years since the mantle
swept clean of rose petals and dog hair,
kitchen scrubbed so empty the ghost 
of Grey Goose can’t find the freezer. 


Three years since your scent filled me.
Perfume soaked Qtip in the desk drawer
of the smoky office now fails 
to summon your fading details. 


Three years since. Color should 
be back in my wardrobe but
dark has always been my choice.
You were the kaleidoscope, extinguished. 
Vodka and Rose Petals
Three years since you left me gasping,
since the thieves of light chased me away,
denying the gift of you ever existed.
Life now thrift store bargains for strangers. 

Three years since the mantle
swept clean of rose petals and dog hair,
kitchen scrubbed so empty the ghost 
of Grey Goose can’t find the freezer. 

Three years since your scent filled me.
Perfume soaked Qtip in the desk drawer
of the smoky office now fails 
to summon your fading details. 

Three years since. Color should 
be back in my wardrobe but
dark has always been my choice.
You were the kaleidoscope, extinguished. 

grilledsneakers:

This is what the people of Ferguson are up against and if you still don’t think that this is a big deal then you need to wake the fuck up

(via denisejollyspoken)

Suicide

You, who would not ever consider suicide:

Please remember those of us 

who considered it in the first grade.

Your standards are not ours.

Your condescension is not helpful.

You, who would call us selfish, 

remember Oscar Wilde said

“Selfishness is not living your life

as you wish, it is asking others

to live their lives as you wish.”

You, who would control the manner

and moment of death to suit you.

No thank you. When I decide the pain

is too great, you do not even enter the equation.

My life is not yours, it is mine, and my death 

is always beyond your control.

Shut the fuck up about how it hurts you.

You would call me a coward in the face of This?

Had I been hit by a bus it would hurt you less?

My end is not yours. If I had cancer

it would be no less terminal. Some survive, 

some don’t.

You protest? Fuck you. Remember this:

Your judgement at this moment speaks 

more of your lack of sympathy

than it ever did of my choice.

Engine : A Yes to Bipolar by Guest Writer Rachel McKibbens

thebodyisnotanapology:

Rachel McKibbens essay is submitted as part of The Body is Not An Apology’s #WhenWeSayYES Campaign. Raising money to build the world’s most powerful radical self love website. Give Here: www.igg.me/at/whenwesayyes

image

[Image: This is a photo of author Rachel McKibbens. She is a Latina…

Radical Self Love means no shame. Outing yourself with an invisible illness takes incredible courage. Rachel McKibbens shows hers here.

#YesAllWomen

cynsaid:

On my nineteenth birthday it snowed. It was an unusually snowy winter for St. Louis. There was already a few inches on the ground from the day before. It was really cold so the snow was still fluffy, but the streets were cleared. My dad and stepmom were coming over for dinner, my high school…

“Thing is, if we could get our culture to disconnect the righteously angry woman from the crazy unreasonable context it mostly has attached. The fact that we really do experience this every day, and thank you men, we really don’t want to need your protection, just want to walk into the mall without some man walking toward us and we have to decide if he is dangerous or not, and then he says fine or fat, one or the other and we still have to decide if he’s dangerous or not, and think omg I have on those ankle strappy heels and can’t run, and look around that parking lot for other people. It’s that all that ^ is so ingrained in us we just do it and it’s part of the day. I am perfectly willing to protect myself if needed but I weigh 130 lbs and have about 2 seconds to make that damage work if I can before I am on my back, then pray my hands are not pinned so I can sink my nails into his soft parts. Seriously.

“Do you fucking get it now? That is what we all do, what we are all taught to do (except the damage part, only some of us learn that).”